Lost

Today I have to do something that I don't want to do.
I will blend the horror of those moments with endless cups of coffee, tapping out messages on the keyboard, smoking cigarettes, listening to my favourite song on one endless loop, making people laugh and being made to laugh myself.
But by tonight, when I'm left with just the thoughts in my head, I won't be able to distract myself.
Lost.

P is for....

I'm hanging in there.

Patient.

Pickled.

Perfectly petrified.

Partially... Patently... Potentially... Possibly....P'd off actually...

Just because...

Because I've been awake since 4.30am.
Because I am considering a cigarette at 6.26am.
Because it's too early for red wine.
Because there is always too much to do and not enough time to do it.
Because every moment is a window of time....filled with something I may not want to do.
Because money doesn't grow on trees...and I never seem to have enough of it.
Because I'm not paid for every hour I work...just the ones I'm contracted for.
Because I'm always trying to fill this hole.
Because I can never get enough...of anything.
Because life is for living...and you don't know how long you've got.
Because I want to do everything...and feel it...and taste it...and breath it in til I can breath no more.
Just because...that's the way it is.